Jab hum chhote hote hain na, tab kuch baatein hum realise hi nahi kar pate. Jo cheezein humein normal lagti hain, baad mein wahi samajh aati hain ki actually kitni special thi.

Mere ghar mein mummy, papa, main, mera bhai aur dadi rehte the. Mere liye toh woh bas ek family thi. Sabke beech pyaar tha, bonding thi, apnapan tha. Ghar mein main jaise chahe waise reh sakti thi. Mujhe kabhi kuch odd, awkward ya alag feel nahi hota tha.

Mujhe bas itna pata tha ki **main bhi is ghar ka ek member hoon.** Yeh ghar mera bhi hai. Main yahan apni baat keh sakti hoon, has sakti hoon, ro sakti hoon, zid kar sakti hoon, apni marzi se reh sakti hoon.

Mummy kabhi-kabhi gussa karti thi, daant deti thi… lekin us waqt mujhe lagta tha, *“Sabke parents kabhi-kabhi gussa karte hain. It's normal.”* Mujhe kabhi us gusse ke peeche koi aur meaning dhoondhne ki zarurat hi nahi padi.

Papa apni jagah the, mummy apni jagah, dadi ka apna role tha, bhai ke saath apni nok-jhok thi… aur in sabke beech mujhe kabhi yeh nahi laga ki mujhe apni jagah banani hai.

**Meri jagah already thi.**

Shayad bachpan ki sabse khoobsurat baat yahi hoti hai. Tab humein “belonging” ka meaning nahi pata hota, lekin hum use poori tarah feel kar rahe hote hain.

Aur shayad isi liye bachpan mein ghar sirf ek jagah nahi hota… ghar woh hota hai jahan aapko apna hone ka proof dene ki zarurat nahi padti.

Lekin shaadi ke itne saalon baad, aaj jab main apne bachchon ko dekhti hoon, toh ek aur cheez realise hoti hai.

Mere bachche bhi toh ek family setup mein hi bade ho rahe hain. Unke aas-paas bhi mummy, papa, dadi aur family ke doosre members hain. Aur main jitna chahti hoon ki unhe bhi wahi apnapan, wahi belonging aur wahi warmth mile jo maine apne bachpan mein feel ki thi… utna hi mujhe realise hota hai ki mere liye woh feeling create kar pana kitna mushkil hai.

Main apni MIL ke saath woh connection feel nahi kar pati.

Mujhe aksar lagta hai ki woh mujhe apne family member ki tarah accept hi nahi kar paati. Shayad mere baare mein unke mind mein kuch assumptions hain, kuch opinions hain… pata nahi kya-kya sochti rehti hain. Main unke liye kuch bhi karun, mujhe kabhi-kabhi lagta hai jaise usse unhe koi khaas farq hi nahi padta.

Unke liye shayad ye sab normal hai.

Shayad unhe lagta hai ki *bahuein aisi hi hoti hain*, aur ghar mein rehna hai toh ek-doosre ke saath jaise-taise manage karna hi padta hai.

Lekin mere liye family ka matlab sirf ek hi ghar mein rehna nahi hai.

Mere liye family ka matlab hai — **apnapan. Acceptance. Ye feeling ki main bhi is ghar ka utna hi hissa hoon jitna baaki sab.**

Mujhe unse koi special treatment nahi chahiye. Main ye bhi nahi chahti ki woh mujhe har baat par sahi samjhein.

Bas itna chahti hoon ki mujhe har waqt ye feel na ho ki main bahar se aayi hui koi insaan hoon jise is family mein adjust karna hai.

Main chahti hoon ki kabhi-kabhi woh mujhe bhi waise hi dekhein jaise maine apne ghar mein khud ko dekha tha — **apna.**

Aur shayad sabse zyada dukh isi baat ka hai ki itne saalon mein bhi main unhe ye baat samjha nahi paayi.

Maine bahut baar apni feelings explain karne ki koshish ki hogi, bahut kuch kaha hoga… lekin jo main actually chahti thi, shayad woh kabhi un tak pahunch hi nahi paaya.

Main unse sirf ek rishta nahi chahti thi.

**Main ek feeling chahti thi — ki main bhi family hoon.**

Aur aaj jab main apne bachchon ko dekhti hoon, toh kabhi-kabhi mann mein ek sawaal aata hai—

**Kya woh bhi bade hokar apne bachpan ko yaad karke ye feel karenge ki “haan, ye mera ghar tha… main is family ka ek hissa tha”?**

Shayad isi sawaal ne mujhe apne bachpan ko ek naye nazariye se dekhna sikhaya hai.

Tab jo mujhe normal lagta tha, aaj samajh aa raha hai ki woh kitna precious tha.