“Maa ke jaane ke baad…”

Maa ke jaane ke baad zindagi bilkul ruk si gayi thi…
Aisa lagta tha jaise meri duniya ka sabse mazboot hissa toot gaya ho.

Main har roz subah uthti thi, lekin jeene ka koi reason nahi milta tha.
Maa sirf meri maa nahi thi… meri dost, meri himmat, meri poori duniya thi.
Unke bina ghar bhi ghar nahi lagta tha… aur main khud bhi apni nahi lagti thi.

Sabse mushkil tab hua, jab mujhe samajh aaya ki jahan mujhe sahare ki zarurat thi…
wahan mujhe sirf tanhaayi mili.

Shaadi ke baad socha tha ki sasural ek naya ghar hoga…
lekin maa ke jaane ke baad wahi ghar mere liye ek bojh ban gaya.
Na kisi ne mere dard ko samjha…
na kisi ne yeh poocha ki main theek hoon ya nahi.

Ulta har chhoti baat par taane,
har roz ke chhote-chhote jhagde,
aur woh lafz… jo dil ko cheer dete the.

Main chup rehti thi…
kyunki main already toot chuki thi.
Aur tootne ki himmat nahi thi.

Raat ko jab sab so jaate the,
main chupke se ro leti thi…
Maa ki tasveer ko dekh kar bas ek hi sawal poochti thi—
“Maa, mujhe itna akela kyun chhod diya?”

Mera mental health dheere-dheere girta gaya.
Anxiety, overthinking, darr… sab mere andar ghar kar gaye.
Kabhi-kabhi to lagta tha main khud ko hi kho chuki hoon.

Lekin ek din… maine khud se ek sawal poocha—
“Kya maa mujhe aise dekhna chahti thi?”

Aur us din maine decide kiya…
ki main toot kar khatam nahi hoongi…
main dheere-dheere khud ko wapas banaungi.

Haan, aaj bhi maa ki yaad aati hai…
aaj bhi aankhon mein aansu aa jaate hain…
lekin ab main sirf roti nahi hoon,
main apni maa ki strength ko apne andar mehsoos karti hoon.

Unhone mujhe jeena sikhaya tha…
aur ab main unke bina bhi jeena seekh rahi hoon.

Kuch zakhm kabhi bharte nahi…
lekin unke saath jeena zaroor seekha ja sakta hai.